CALL THE AGENT

If your vessel enters port, call the agent,
If your berth appears too short, call the agent,
If your ship wrecks on a mole,
If she’s drifting towards a shoal,
Or your tug runs out of coal,

CALL THE AGENT

If the “Customs” need more paper, call the agent,
And your patience starts to vapour, call the agent
If they keep you from your letter
From your wife (or even better)

-Those from Principals do not matter-

CALL THE AGENT

If you want to go ashore, call the agent
To have some fun and maybe more, call the agent
If the crew is in the fight,
Or some fuel you must invite,
Urgent crises in the night,

CALL THE AGENT

Yes, the scapegoat on the quay, he’s the agent
All the petty griefs are his, damn the agent,
And at that, the stupid fool
Remains to you a useless tool
Thank Heavens you’re always cool,
AND NOT THE AGENT